sashathumpa:

"u missed di schoo bus eh?"

"yes fadda"

"find a wey ti schoo den"

ocheano:

in my daily basis when people suddenly laugh i always think they are making fun of me please tell me i’m not the only one 

gapjeans:

when u win an argument against someone who thinks they know everything

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Like every time Sheila is wrong and I’m right. BOOM

dirudo:

Teacher : So what did you bring for show and tell today

Me :

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curvesandfitness:

i want a butt so perfect that men cry about it

planetfuckingjupiter:

new olympic sport: the contestants must sit on their legs until they fall asleep and then run down a flight of stairs

32chainz:

my mum just shouted “yolo!!” from the kitchen and i heard plates smash

(Source: oreooficial)

bestpal:

smoking we’d

dicksplit:

holding in a fart all day and finally getting home

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preys:

Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” as a swear word

rebeccacrane:

the joker got his scars from trying to put a whole pringle in his mouth at once

do you ever just realize how bad your voice sounds

(Source: silabus)

spermbanker:

u know when u cold n ur nipnops go hard. why my titty betray me

carriesfirstperiod:

my mom just looked at a spider at our kitchen and yelled “why do you have to be like that? you dont need that many eyes or legs you need to stop”

(Source: lmpossibleprincess)

popularboyfriend:

my life is one part “wait” and another part “what”