64kbps:

gamsee:

what do you mean i cant name my son dorito

because thats nacho son

kushandwizdom:

Good Vibes HERE

fluent-in-lesbianism:

MY MOM JUST TOLD ME TO CREMATE HER AND PUT HER ASHES IN AN HOUR GLASS SO THAT EVEN AFTER SHE’S DEAD AND GONE SHE CAN CONTINUE TELLING ME HOW MUCH TIME I’M WASTING.

unexotic:

unexotic:

is ur music ever so loud u feel like ur suffocating

update: i was having an asthma attack

battlepope:

9989:

wussypillow:

i’m done complaining 

image

IT’S REAL

(Source: bluepueblo)

daximed:

Hotel showers are really weird because they can range anywhere from “gently peeing on you” to “I fear for the safety of my nipples”

wancler-lust:

mattg124:

angrynerdyblogger:

straight-up-juggahos:

kendralynora:

buginateacup:

jaydenw:

whitepajamas:

automatonic-absinthe:

isaia:

rosswoodpark:

time-for-maps:

this changes everything oh my god

do you understand why it trips me out that people can drive 45 minutes and be in aNOTHER COUNTRY?

I drive for 45 minutes and im like

a city over 

I live in “Italy” and took a day trip to go to “Austria” and “Germany”

 #it is literally impossible to leave texas #you will be in texas #FOREVER

Chums, that’s sweet, and all, but Australia just ate Texas for breakfast. 

image

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you aren’t a city over, you’re just 45 minutes away from the city.

If you drive for 45 minutes in Australia you may not even leave the cattle station.

image

If you drive for 45 minutes in Canada you may not even leave your driveway.

If I drive 45 minutes in the us I’m just at another mcdonalds

If I drive for 45 minutes in Northern Ireland I’m 10 minutes into the sea.

I can’t drive. 

this post turned out really weird

hunterdirectionerpottergleek:

captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors

as a girl, I can confirm this is 100% true

(Source: faithlehaane)


aestheticgoddess:

Brice Bischoff used a long exposure to photograph dances with large sheets of colored paper in the series Bronson Caves.

asktheteamofscientists:

hobgoblinhero:

danadies:

yes-master-thank-you-master:

The Kum and Go. Or as my mom called it, the ejaculate and evacuate.

Jizz and jet

shoot and scoot

blow your load and hit the road

handpickedhappiness:

thevoxbox:

charlesoberonn:

giftvvrap:

will you marry me = a marriage proposal
will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal

Will you, Mary me = Cavewoman Mary helps Will recover from his Amnesia

Will, you marry me. = Will’s time-traveling partner

And people keep trying to tell me that punctuation isn’t important

Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
― Mark Twain (via psych-quotes)

eatmydeck:

thatpotterguy:

theangryandro:

What the fuck…

DAMMIT CLINT

meanwhile as i just shoot you

(Source: salt4life)